Concision - Answer Key

The following revisions show one way to practice concision. In reality, many options exist. The key is to cut and clarify while maintaining meaning.

Intermediate Practice

  1. Tough uses that quote to transition from Vanessa’s story to the article’s main topic.
  2. Students who carry (or “Students carrying”) such negative thoughts often drop out instead of seeking help.
  3. Feeling alone makes students vulnerable and less likely to try as hard.
  4. Corn is one of the most common ingredients in the Mexican diet.
  5. For example, in high school I heard that Christopher Columbus did not discover the United States.
  6. Knowing history from the oppressors’ and the oppressed’s perspectives, I understand how the U.S. has become the racially and economically unequal country that it is today.
  7. I went to school and learned to read and write in English, yet I feel I am not entirely entitled to be an American.
  8. Moreover, a parallel hybrid car uses an internal combustion and electrical engine.

Advanced Practice

  1. When students experience them, these thoughts negatively impact their lives.
  2. The program is designed to help those students reach a higher level of education and provide extra help without revealing the real reason, which positively impacts students’ lives.
  3. “Pre-med” students who ace all their classes think they are better and far smarter than other students.
  4. It seems like technology has taken over. Increased innovative technology has led to reading on e-readers and tablets instead of physical books. Although reading physical books is helpful, using e-readers and tablets is more effective.
  5. Later, I learned Santiago and her siblings  were racially targeted despite the white male she imagines within her who fights for justice and her place in American society.